This morning as I sat outside in our little garden, I sipped my coffee in the quiet of the early morning, it was 6:30 a.m. when I grabbed my laptop to begin writing this post. I felt a need to write and share my thoughts today. I wrote and read over my words before finalizing this post. It is now 7:33 a.m.
I took some time away from blogging for a couple of weeks at the end of April, just so I could clear my head. I needed to shake off stuff that I did see posted about myself by another person, well a couple of other people. I will admit I started to allow myself to fall prey to their words once again, it started to get to me and I began to get drug down to their level. I started to allow myself to get drug into drama or should I say an online battle that is not really mine to be a part of. I decided to talk to my ever so small circle of trusted people and after speaking with them, I decided not to play the game and stay away out of it, it’s better that way. Mind you this is much different from how I used to be, I used to get right there scrapping it out with others. Back when I first started with blogging and “making online acquaintances” and when I was at my angriest in my life, I would my anger out, burning people’s out with words that I wrote and tearing others down because I felt I needed to rip others apart, I wanted to read my anger and perhaps feel my wrath through my words. I used to feel a need to defend myself and fight back when attackers came up to start with me. I have come a long way from that time and from that need or want to do so, now it’s just not worth the negative energy. Now I just choose to walk away and be done with them. I am not going to make everyone happy with my life, the way I live it, the words I speak or write and to be honest that is not job to make the world happy. We all need to find our own perfect happiness and keep it, not try to make everyone happy.
So, during my time away I did sit and think about a few things. I really put some thought into what I write about and what direction that I wish my blog to be in. Yes, I even double even triple thought about the name of the blog and how people will probably perceive this blog to be about. What people would expect to see. I thought “They are going to expect all kinds of witchcraft stuff on here. They will want to see spells, curses, metaphysical stuff, crystal stuff and herbal stuff just because of the name.” As you can see that is not what my blog is primarily about. Yes I am a witch, I am also so much more and I do not feel that I have to write just witch stuff. I want to share some aspects of my life with you all.
I have so many others things to share as did our ancestors of the past or some of the witches do today. They did not go screaming out into the streets or on rooftops to proclaim their faith or belief system or what they did, they lived and still do live normal everyday lives. They did and still do not sit on their high horses judging others, telling them how to be witches or how to live their lives. They lived and still do their lives in their homes and have real jobs in real workplaces. They did not run around and still do not belittle or bash other witches, they did and still do encourage each other to bring unity among each other as it should be. They did not and still do not promote negativity or harm either, sorry for those who say you don’t believe in the Wiccan Rede or Karma, it does exist.
My Grandma Todd used to tell me “Watch your words you use against others and against yourself. It always comes back to you in some form be it good or evil.” I used laugh when she said it, until I saw it to be true. I see these witches who say that they do not believe in Karma or the three fold rule, yet when they do evil to others or put a curse on someone else, they always suffer soon after with their health or finances or home life. I have seen it happen to certain people.
I chose That Blooming Witch because I am a witch. I am a not-self proclaimed who sat down to watch a few movies or TV shows and decided to be a witch. I was quite literally born and raised this way by my Grandma Todd, she was a witch herself before being a witch was the “cool thing” to be. Yes, I know that someone or some people will have a wild hair in their ass about me saying that and it’s quite okay, it’s their prerogative and the way that they choose to be, it has no impact on me or my walk. Those that talk have never had to walk my walk or live my life, go through the things that I have lived through and I am sure if they were forced to they would never be where I am today. Some people never knew me before the internet came to be or before I began blogging in 2007, they did see the hell I lived through and were not there through the shit years of my life. So, as such I do not need to answer to them for my life now or the path I have chosen, I do not have to answer for my choices of the past either. I also do not need nor want to further respond to their nonsense about who I am as a witch, a woman, a sister, cousin, friend, wife or business woman.
In fact, my journey in through my life as well as my belief system is my own, just as theirs is their own, we are all individuals, not one of us are alike, thank the Goddess for that!! I personally like it that way, honestly I say let them talk if they have nothing better to do. As my Grandma Herrmann used to say “Just remember, if they are talking about you, then chances are they are leaving someone else alone. Just be happy that you are the center of their attention and you are not the person doing all the talking. They have nothing better to focus on than you, that makes you the light of their life and center of their world, my little Rae of Sunshine! You have better things, people, places to focus on and to spend you energy on, get to living your life and let them see you be happy and in the wonderful place that you are. Let them see the wonderful Rachel that we all know and love, be their Rae of Sunshine.” My Grandma was so right and I can feel her smiling at me. I feel her around me all the time, proud of me and who I am.
I was so very blessed to be the grand-daughter of two amazing wise women who both came from different backgrounds and upbringings. They were both so full of wisdom, they taught me so much in life. As of late, I am constantly hearing them speak to me a lot in dreams and in my waking life. I feel their presence daily with me, especially in this house, I did not feel it as much in the apartments we have lived in. I realize now how wise they both were. I am taking their wise words to live my life more and more.
It’s sad to say that since I got sick with the septic shock, I found myself constantly worrying whether they would be proud of me. I thought that maybe they were proud of me as their grand-daughter after all my choice I made through life, what with my divorce from my first husband, the loss of my children in a horrible custody battle, my inability to hold jobs, the issues I had with my step-daughter, the moving around, my mental and financial instability even. Looking at my life now, I realize that they had always told me that they proud of me, even Grandpa Todd was proud of me. They may not have always agreed with my life choices yet they were proud because I lived my best life for me that I could live at that time. I was always honest, I was always real, never fake in who I was, I accredit that to what my Grandma Herrmann used to say “Be who you is and not what you ain’t because if you are is who you is than you ain’t what you ain’t.” She used to make me laugh when she said that, I never truly understood it and as of late I look back to my younger days and I really did live my best life that there was me to live, enjoying the moments all of them.
Now that I took myself away from the internet, with writing on the blog, I am coming back with a fresh mindset with a new hope for this blog. It is not only a journal of my life as a survivor after septic shock and after all that I have lived through, it’s a place where I will share what has meaning to me as a witch and as a woman in this modern world.
You are more than welcome to come along on this journey as I share so many things.
- My thoughts on life in general
- My travels with my husband
- Being a housewife
- Being a businesswoman
- Being a mom to three fur-babies
- Being a friend
- Being a blogger
- Being a witch *notice that is not my top priority*
- Book Reviews
- Music I love
- Movies I watch
- TV shows I watch
- Fashion, makeup, nails and all that girly stuff
- Lastly whatever the fuck I want to write about
Thanks for visiting and I do hope you enjoy your stay.