I took some time off from writing to breathe and get myself grounded, I do this from time to time. I spend time in the garden with my barefeet on the ground, sometimes I sit in the grassy part of our garden to connect with the Earth. Over the last two weeks, I took time to walk in the local park in the animal and bird sanctuary part in the desert area. I felt the sun in my skin, felt the warm breeze blow over my skin cooling it a bit from the sun’s deep rays that left my skin a bit more bronzer than it was before. This is where I find my peace, strength and zen, in the desert, outside in the garden where I feel the sun on my skin, smell the fresh air and hear nature around me.
I have been taking time to look deep within to get to know myself, my true self. I am getting to like, actually love myself more and more with the time that I spend alone. I don’t mind being alone honestly. I don’t mind the silence when I am alone anymore either. I rather enjoy it.
I am realizing who I am inside, what I want to be happy and so much more. I know where I want to be in life, I know what I want to do with my life. This is a new found freedom for me and it does give me strength to finally take this time to allow myself to be me. During this time away I have realized just how strong and wonderful I really am. I am no longer searching on the outside for approval or for strength, it’s always been inside of me, I just needed to let it out.
Today is a day that I feel I can share this finally and state how I feel about myself. I am accomplishing things in my life, in my career, in my home and it’s not for anyone else, it’s all for me. Call that narcassistic it’s quite alright. I am okay with that. I call it self-respect. I am building my self-confidence back up and it feels great for a change to be able to do this and not be afraid to do so. I am doing great things for me and I am much happier for it. I am holding my head higher, standing taller and breathing easier. I don’t feel as though I am carrying a heavy weight around with me anymore.
I feel strong and confident at this time of my life.
That is all I want right now.